And Cat Makes Five

My little boy is talking! I can't believe it. I can proudly say that his first word was Mama, with Dada soon to follow. Dog came next, which he will use spontaneously when he sees (or hears) a dog. He will repeat truck, and as of this morning, he will also repeat cat. It is so neat to see him start to realize that he can repeat sounds that he hears! He will repeat words we say to him, sounds he hears in songs, and he even tried to repeat the sound of me knocking on a door! His world is opening up, and it is really fun to watch. What a neat realization it must be, to find that you can make the sounds that you hear around you - that you can talk. Hello, expressive language!

In chemistry news, it has been a busy week. I had a quiz, lecture exam, lab exam, homework problem set and two pre-lab question sets all due. Oh. My. God. I am realy glad that week is over. It was insane. But, I got my exams back yesterday, and I am pleased to report that I got an 88% (possibly 89% - I am questioning one of the problems...) on my lecture exam, and a 98% (hell yeah!) on my lab exam!! Awesome. Last night was a chemistry-fee evening (in part because I forgot my book bag in my husband's truck, and he was at work...) in celebration of the end of such a busy week. Today I begin again. I am not going to know what to do with all the free time I am going to have after this class is over!

Busily,
Jenny

Little Nursling Boy

I am not sure what cause the milk shortage that I had a week or so ago, but it seems to have resolved itself. And by "resolved itself" I mean by me taking nine fenugreek capsules a day and reeking like syrup, and all the while pumping like a madwoman... But either way, things seem to have gone back to normal. I am quite relieved to be able to still be nursing my little boy. I don't know when we will quit, but when we do, I want it to be because I decided or because he decided. I don't want to have to quit because of some outside reason forcing it to happen. And for now, things are looking good as we truck on towards nursing for a year.

Before Liam was born, I knew I wanted to nurse him - I was very determined to at least make a solid try of it. I went to a breast feeding support group lead by a lactation consultant a few weeks before my due date, and started going to the group regularly when Liam was three days old. If I didn't nurse, it sure as hell wasn't going to be because I didn't try everything before quitting.

And it was hard. Really hard. It hurt so much, and he nursed for hours on end, giving my poor, abused nipples almost no breaks. And he never nursed calmly - he screamed, and pulled, and cried through nearly every feeding. I was thrilled if I could get ten or fifteen minutes of solid eating out of him. He started reflux medications. I drastically altered my diet, quitting dairy, soy and wheat. And I cried through countless breast feeding support group meetings. And slowly, slowly, things got better. One day, I was suprised to realize that I was nursing and it wasn't hurting either of us.

Now we are closing in on Liam's first birthday, and I am enjoying nursing more than I ever expected to. I owe everything to my "boob group" meetings and the amazing lactation consultant who runs them, and also to my neighbor, who was nursing her son, and offered me encouragement and advice every step of the way. For me, all the pain and trouble has been worth the reward of my nursing happiness that I have now. But I understood completely, in the first 48 hours of my nursing career, why people want to do it but then say, "to hell with this - give him a bottle." It certainly isn't for everyone. But it is for me.

I don't know how much longer we will nurse. I am just enjoying every time we do, because I really don't know when the end could come. We may wean just after his birthday, or perhaps we will still be nursing in a year. I don't know, and that's ok - which for a crazy planner like me is really saying something!! We are nursing right now, and it is beautiful and wonderful, and that is enough for me to be satisfied with.

Lovingly,
Jenny

Who's That Mewing At My Door?

My husband woke me up in the middle of the night on Saturday night/Sunday morning to let me know that there were kittens in our garage. Kittens. We have one cat. He's indoor only. He is a he. He is neutered. And yet - kittens in our garage.

Our neighbors have a cat that we can't seem to keep out of our garage. She will sneak in there sometimes, and get locked in, and then we will kick her out the next day when we discover her. And as you can probably guess, it turns out that she wasn't spayed. She apparently snuck into our garage and had kittens, and then we kicked her out the next day, not realizing what had happened. Cut to 2am when Hubby hears kittens mewing in the garage...

We opened up the garage door so that hopefully Mama Cat would come back to her kittens and in the meantime, got to hold tiny tiny kittens! They were covered in saw dust from my husband's workshop, but otherwise seemed to be doing alright. One white one, one black one, and one gray tabby like Mama Cat. And sadly, a fourth kitten that did not make it.

Mama Cat did find her way back to her babies, and we locked the new family in our garage for the night with some food and water for Mama. In the morning, we let the neighbors know about their grand-kittens, and they relocated the whole bunch back to their house.

What a day.

SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS, PEOPLE!

Jenny

Curry and Coffee

My wonderful and amazing sister-in-law came to visit me tonight. I live a half hour away from her (and everyone else), so it isn't often that she comes to visit, so it was a wonderful treat. And to make a nice night fabulous, she brought me dinner and coffee! Yummm... Kalid's Kurry from Beyond Bread, and an iced decaf Americano from Starbucks. Delicious.

I was very glad to see her and get to visit with her - we try to visit every week, but it has been a few weeks since we saw eachother last. It was a nice way to top off a very stressful week.

One of the big things that I am trying very hard not to stress about is nursing Liam. My supply has really been dropping over the last few weeks, and it has gotten pretty low. I started taking an herb called fenugreek that will increase my milk supply (and it has), with the peculiar side effect of making me smell like syrup. Huh. I started taking it, but before it had a chance to kick in, I tried to nurse Liam before bedtime, as is our usual routine, and there was NO milk. None. Liam was so frustrated, and I felt so terrible. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life. Luckily, with the fenugreek, things seem to be getting back on track. I was very scared and sad that I may have had to quit nursing before I wanted to - I want to decide when I am done, and not have that decision made for me. I love nursing Liam. I hoped that I would like it, but I did not expect to love it as much as I do. I feel proud to be able to make him grow so big and strong, and I love the closeness and cuddling that come along with it. I love feeling his warm little body on my lap. I love being able to make my sweet boy so happy and calm.

While my sister-in-law and I were visiting, we made plans for her to take Liam's one year photos. It is awfully nice to have a photographer for a sister! She takes amazing photos, and Liam feels comfortable with her, so we don't have to worry about him being upset...It works very well. So August 22nd, Liam will be getting pictures taken. I absolutely can't believe that his birthday could really be coming up. It can't be possible. How could my little baby be growing up so fast??

Unbelievingly,
Jenny

Home Again, Home Again

Aaaaaaand I'm home. Vacation over. Boo. Vacations always seem so long at the start, but they always manage to fly by - on the last day, I found myself thinking about all the things I had planned to do, and had not managed to fit in. But it was a very nice vacation, with lots of time spent visiting and relaxing.

But back to the real world. Or at least sort of. Tonight I should have been doing chemistry homework, but instead, I designed the invitation for Liam's first birthday party (which isn't until September). Oh procrastination, how I love thee... The bad news is I have a LOT of chemistry to do in the next two days. However, the good news is that Liam's invitation is going to be darling. If I do say so myself. I traced the "newborn" sized onsie that he wore home from the hospital, and also traced a "12 month" sized onsie that he is wearing now, and I am going to attach them together with a brad so that you can swing the smaller one off the bigger one to reveal the party details. Like I said - darling. It does present some logistical problems, though. First and foremost - how to mass produce it. Hmm. I am milling over ideas, including printing on vellum and taping it onto the onsie cutouts. I will have to scour Michael's for very big paper to make the cutouts on. It's a tall order, but in Michael's I trust! It is true that the project was shameless procrastination, but I do think that the invitation project will take quite a while, so it is probably not the worst thing that I started it now.

Also today I had Liam make his daddy a Father's Day card. I wrote it out, and put him in his high chair armed with a Crayola marker. I thought he would make some marks on the page, at least accidentally. But no. He just wanted to eat the pen. So I ended up coloring on his hands and having him make hand prints. Or rather hand smudges. I also colored one foot and did a foot print - that came out much better than the hand prints! Daddy will be recieving a CD of Pink Floyd songs done into lullabies. I am eager to listen to it. It definitely sounds interesting, and I am sure Liam's Daddy will dig it.

Any Colour You Like,
Jenny

Life's A Beach

Liam had his first dip in the Pacific Ocean on Friday! It was a hit. He held my fingers and walked all the way across the sand to the water, and would have just kept right on going if I had let him! We let some waves come in and get our feet wet, and he had me walk him up and down the beach at the water's edge. He sat in the damp sand and grabbed handfuls, and then dumped them out again. The fun lasted until one of those handfuls went into his mouth. Apparently, he agrees with pretty much everyone else that sand tastes gross!

We took a walk to the end of the wharf, and he got excited when he saw seagulls flying. After several hours of beach fun, he crashed out alseep in his stroller. He slept as we walked through the cute beach shops and ate ice cream, and he stayed asleep the whole drive home. Whew. Trips to the beach are tiring!

Yesterday and today he has gotten to visit with family and friends who have stopped by to see him, some just meeting him for the first time. He's been a good sport through it all, though I think his teeth are bothering him today. What a hassle it must be to teeth.

I was able to leave him with his grandparents after he went to bed last night, and I went out to dinner with a good friend from high school. And tonight, my mom and I are going to dinner and then out to see Angles & Demons. I believe that this will be my first movie theater movie since Liam was born. Wow. Only took nine months! It was nice to get out of the house without Liam in tow, and fun to have grown-up time! Aren't grandparents wonderful?

Grateful,
Jenny

Baby Dreams

Almost as soon as I had had my little boy, people started asking me when I was going to have another. For a long time, my answer was, "Are you fricking nuts? Let me survive this one first." But lately I have found myself thinking about being pregnant with the next baby. What is it about sleeping through the night that make me think about having a newborn?? I have no idea. Well, actually I think that sleeping through the night has improved my mental stability to the point where I am now functioning as a normal person. And I guess a normal person starts thinking about baby numero dos as numero uno closes in on the end of Year One.

Just so we're clear, I am not planning on getting pregnant any time soon. I am not interested in having a young baby during nursing school, so the idea is to wait until after I graduate and get a job before I get knocked up again. Maybe it is just the fact the I know we are waiting, so it is ok to think and dream about - it isn't to the reality stage yet. But I do like thinking about it. What that pregnancy, birth and baby will be like.

And about every month or so, I go through a time of really feeling pregnant. Which is a little freaky, but also a little fun. It makes me wonder, "What if?" And for the first time since the birth of my son, the "what if" doesn't fill me with terror. It's certainly a step in the right direction.

With hope,
Jenny

Specific Heat Strikes Again

Liam is fighting his naptime today, which is no fun for Mama. He cried and cried when I put him down for his morning nap, then only slept for a half hour. A few hours later, the eye rubbing and grumpies returned, so I put him down for his second nap. He's fussing, but not crying like he was this morning. Hopefully this will result in a nice and restful nap. I am hiding away in the computer room with a frosty cold Diet Coke to wait out the fussing...

Once he wakes up, we are driving over to visit his great-grandma! Liam is lucky enough to have a great-grandma and a great-nana in addition to his Grandma and Bapa, and Nana and Grandpa. That is so many people to spoil him!

Tomorrow will be Liam's first trip to the beach! It will be pretty cold, but he feet are going to be dipped in the ocean anyhow!

On the topic of my chemistry class, I was doing problems last night when I came across this one:

How many calories are required to raise the temperature of 26g of aluminium from 20 degrees C to 115 degrees C? (Note that the Specific Heat of aluminium is 0.22 cal/g x degrees C)

Ah, Specific Heat, my nemesis...

I have worked the problem over and over and I keep getting 5.4 x 10 x 10 (yeah, I don't know how to make it ten squared...). But that isn't one of the possible answers. AHRG! Luckily for me, my doctorate-from-Harvard physicist of a cousin is arriving tonight. She'll check my work. If she ever can get a flight out of Lubbock.

Waiting,
Jenny

Trials and Tribulations of Gate Checking

We arrived safe and sound in California last night. I gate checked Liam's stroller, which is fabulously handy - you leave it right outside the airplane door, and then when you get off the plane, it is waiting for you! Well, that is the theory anyhow. It isn't quite as handy if you forget to get it after you get off the plane, and then you walk out of security...Luckily the nice airline people put it through the oversized baggage window, and I got to pick it up in baggage. Ooops.

Liam did very well sleeping in a strange place - he's in a Pack 'n Play in the same room as me. We haven't slept in the same room since he was eight weeks old! I enjoyed it - I never get to see him sleeping, and I love the little baby sleeping noises that he makes. The downside was that when he woke up at 5:15, there was no putting off getting him! Luckily, only a few minutes after I got him downstairs, Grandpa was there to play with him, and I got to go back to bed for a little while! Ahhh, grandparents...

Today we are heading to Grandpa's work to show Liam off - the first of many such outings! The weather here is cool and gray, but it is a welcome respite from the heat of Arizona. And an opportunity to wear jeans and sweaters - my favorite. I'm not sure what possesed me to move to Arizona. Oh yeah, the husband!

Liam's Nana has already taken quite a few pictures of him in just the few hours he has been awake today. I fear the final picture total may be in the thousands. Aren't digital cameras fabulous?

Later,
Jenny

Specific Heat Anyone?

My first chemistry class was yesterday evening. The class won't be a traditional lecture - we have a cd with the lectures on it, and packets of sample questions, and it is all self-paced, with due dates that quizzes and tests have to be done by. The lab portion is the only thing we have to go in for. Well, kind of. As it turns out, we have to take the tests and quizzes at the testing center. At the reeeeeeally far away campus. Bummer.

I like to be a nerd. I'm the one in the front row, with three extra pens and pencils in my bag, and my notebook open and ready. But I was off my game last night. I thought I was doing well - I had bought the book a week ago, and reviewed the first couple chapters. I am leaving on vacation today, but I'm bringing all my work with me and can do it there. Well, the teacher at the north campus where I bought the text is apparently not using the same one as my teacher at the east campus. Nice. And even more fun - those pesky quiz due dates, and that nifty policy about needing to take said quizzes at the testing center that is so reeeeeally far away. And wouldn't you know it - a quiz is due before I get back from my vacation. Awesome. So there I sit in class, having a mini panic attack. I need to get the correct book (which I had sooo not budgeted for!) and I need to get it NOW because I need to study for the chapter one quiz which I will need to take in the morning before I leave for vacation. Is the bookstore going to be open when I get out of here?? Why is he still talking??? I need to get that book!!!! Finally, he's done talking. I'm like greased lightning out that door, headed to the bookstore. But there's a guy standing outside, selling the book I needed. For twenty bucks. That sure beats the $130 the bookstore was going to charge me! So now I had the book, I just needed to learn the first chapter before bed. I got home and went right to studying. A lot was review - decimals, scientific notation, significant figures...Then, after five hours of studying, I got to specific heat. According to my book, specific heat is the amount of heat needed to raise the temperature of 1 g of something by 1 degree Celsius. And at 11 pm, after five hours of studying chemistry, that may as well have been in Swahili. Luckily, I've discovered that specific heat makes much more sense after you've slept! I took that quiz, and specific heat was not even close to on it. It was just the bare-bones basics. Fricking sweet.

After a stop by my work office, I am officially on vacation! My flight leaves for California in just a few hours. I'm going to go cram my chemistry text book into my suitcase and I am all set.

Oh, and yesterday I bought a 70's hits cd from Target. It is awesome. It really put me in a fabulous mood, cruising down the highway blasting the Bellamy Brothers... Ahhhhh...

It's a fabulous picture, isn't it? Me, driving down the highway, stereo way up, singing along (out of tune)...

"Just let your love flow, like a mountain stream, and let your love grow, like the smallest of dreams, and let your love show, and you'll know what I mean; it's the season."

California, here I come!!!!!

Relaxed,
Jenny

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

On Saturday, my husband and I took Liam to the zoo for the first time. It was definitely a hit with him, and more trips are sure to follow. I just kept thinking about how strange it must be for him, seeing all of these animals for the first time. Can you imagine what he must have thought of the anteater, giraffe and elephant? The only animals he had seen up until that point were dogs, cats and birds. It was a beautiful day - not too hot, and the zoo is nice and shady. It was really wonderful to have time together as a family. It is my goal to have some sort of family activity every weekend, be it another zoo trip, or a simple picnic at a nearby park. The weekends go by so quickly and in such a blur, and I think that it will be nice at the end of the weekend to be able to look back and know that we had some quality time in there, and that the whole thing wasn't eaten up by running errands, doing laundry and pulling weeds.

This next week is a big one for me - tomorrow is my first chemistry class! I am so very excited to be taking my first step towards becoming a nurse. It feels really good to have a goal to be moving towards, and also to be taking charge of my career path. Up until this point, I have kind of fallen from job to job, doing what I could find available. That isn't to say that I haven't liked my jobs - I have, and I do like my current one, but I never meant to do it. I sort of happened upon it. It is exciting to be moving towards something that I really want to do.

As if having my first chemistry class wasn't enough to make me excited about the coming week, on Tuesday Liam and I are flying to California to visit my parents! I am really looking forward to it. Liam's Nana and Grandpa are positively giddy with anticipation. Liam has changed a lot since they've seen him last - he now has two teeth, and he has so much personality coming though. They are just going to eat him up. I'll also get to catch up with some high school friends and see my grandmothers and aunts who live near my parents. And the weather in California is supposed to be about 30 degrees cooler than it will be here in Arizona. I'll have to pack my ski parka and mittens!

On a side note, Liam is now in his second week of sleeping all the way through the night. It is incredible. I am getting a solid night of sleep now, instead of two and three hour chunks, and the difference it has made in me is huge. I've been on medication for post-partum depression since Liam was six weeks old, and I was getting frustrated and, well, depressed that things didn't seem to be getting much better. I did not realize how much my lack of sleep was impacting me. Now that I am sleeping, I feel like myself again. I have more patience with Liam, and I find more joy in our time together. I have to credit my success to Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child which my PPD counselor and my PPD psychiatrist both told me I HAD to get. I got it, I read it, and I started working on Liam's sleep habits, and it has made a world of difference. He is getting the sleep he was needing, and he is happier now, and so am I.

Smiling,
Jenny

So The Story Goes

My absolutely amazing sister in law won tickets on a radio show to a Brandi Carlile concert, and gave them to me and my husband for my birthday. The concert was last night, and she had failed to mention before hand that the seats were in the second row, right in the middle. It was a very small venue, and it was such a different experience from any concert I've been to in the past. It was an all accoustic set, and it was incredible. She sang new stuff, old stuff, and a couple covers, and told some little stories of how songs came to be. Some people in the audience would shout out questions for her, and she would answer them. It was very casual and personal.

I notice that often when I go to concerts, I end up thinking, "Why don't I listen to this person more?" If you asked me, I would say that sure, I liked Brandi Carlile, and yeah, I have her CDs. But seeing her in person...Well, let's just say that she has solidified herself as one of my very favorite musicians. And The Story is going in my car CD changer right now.

She's got a new CD coming out in the fall, and she will be touring then to promote it. I'll be seeing her, and you should be, too. She may be coming to you during this tour! http://www.brandicarlile.com/

But what is with concerts on weeknights? Oh was I ever dragging this morning. It was worth it, yes, but my 6 am wakeup call from my sweet son really hurt. I think that is something about parenthood that people can tell you before you are a parent, but the reality just doesn't hit you until you are there. When you are the parent of an early-riser (and you are not one yourself), you don't ever get to sleep in. If you stay up late, you still are getting up with them at the same time. They don't understand weekends. They don't understand special occasions, holidays and weeknight concerts. By the miracle of biology, that internal clock just keeps on ticking. And it unfortunately doesn't have a snooze button. I do admit that I will enjoy when he is at the age when he can get up and go watch Saturday morning cartoons for a while so Mama can sleep in!

Closer To You,
Jenny

Golden Summer

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.
- Robert Frost

But I feel that it is gold right now, and I feel obligated to make the most of this time of gold. My son Liam turned nine months today. He is growing and changing at a rate I could never have comprehended before his birth. He has motivated me to make my life what I want it to be, and so in less than a week, I will begin the long process of becoming a nurse. The first step is a chemistry class that is needed as a prerequisite. I am eager about school in a way I have never been before. I feel good. I feel calm. I feel ready.

With fervor,
Jenny